Surrendering to now

7 Mar

I’ve been too preoccupied with my goals — worrying and wondering if I’ll ever reach them.

Do I have what it takes to become a certified yoga teacher? to teach yoga, to own a yoga studio? Some days, they seem such unattainable goals, I might as well set my sights on owning a castle in the Scottish Highlands.

At times, I’ve been so consumed by it all that I have lost sight of where I am and what I am doing. I have been too much in the future and not enough in the present; too worried about the result and not fully engaged in my actions. Ishvara pranidhana has long guided my yoga practice, teaching me, as the ancient yoga concept holds, to focus on the quality of my actions and to surrender the results to a higher power.

Whether I’ve been about to flow into a crow pose or fold over into a demanding half pigeon, ishvara pranidhana has taught me to detach from my expectations about a pose, and simply stay in the present, connected to my breath and the joy of just being in that moment.

My purple mat has a powerful effect on me. I practice ishvara pranidhana faithfully on it, but I realize I must also practice it off the mat. I must keep a clear and calm mind about what I am doing in the present and let go of the fruits of my labor.

For more than a year, I’ve been talking about writing a yoga blog, but I’ve been to concerned whether anyone would read it or whether I could even write it, to start doing it.  For now, I’m just focusing on the doing.

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2 Responses to “Surrendering to now”

  1. Buffy Andrews March 13, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

    Loved this post, Ivey, and your blog. Good luck with your new adventure. And I love that you have a dream, a goal, and that you are taking the steps to make that goal a reality. So many people have dreams and that’s all they are, all they ever will be. But you’re doing something about your dream, and that, girlfriend, is what it’s all about.

    Here’s the thing. Try not to worry. Don’t worry whether you’ll be good enough. Whether people will like your blog. What matters is what you think. Slay those demons of doubt and worry. You can handle those dudes blindfolded. Be who you are and you will do just fine.

    Blessings always, Buffy

  2. UL March 27, 2011 at 9:36 pm #

    so glad you did, this is the time…and I love your posts, esp. of the little birdies and the mama bird – isn’t it a wonderful feeling to see the birdies grow?

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